Thursday, April 16, 2015

Hard Times, But Good Times

Sorry I haven't written in awhile, a lot of stuff has come up and I just never got the urge to write anything. But I feel I should now, because my sweet Institute teacher told me that writing feelings out can be therapeutic, and this blog has been the closest thing to therapy I can afford. My beautiful Aunt Sherri has been sicker than ever lately, in the hospital/ICU, continuing to fight against CF. She's had this a long time and has always struggled, but this time, since I'm old enough to understand what's going down, it's harder. There's been times in the past couple days when we thought we'd lose her, but with continued prayers and fasting, things have somewhat improved. I say improved lightly because the situation is still bad, but it was and could be worse, so improved is the word I choose. Her family, including me, has been posting updates and things on other social media sites, and this has definitely brought people closer and also encouraged others to pray for her as well. So we'll see what tomorrow brings, hope it's better news than today.

I think today has been my worst day so far. For the past couple days, I've just been getting by and trying not to think about her, in the hospital, struggling for breath. Crying here and there, but nothing like today. Today everything came tumbling, or crashing (it felt like) down. All the stress from school, roommates, and now this just got to be too much for me to take. I was Institute (the best place to be) when my teacher started quoting scriptures and insights that touched me. I had to leave the room and I was running down the hallway when the president of the Institute caught me and sat me down to talk. I love how talking--or crying in this case--things out can bring new clarity to any situation. I should know this by now, talking is my favorite sport. He then asked if he could call anyone to come and take me home; I was such a wreck. So he called one of my dearest friends P and her husband D, they were so sweet about the whole situation. They had to pack up their new little baby just to come down and pick me up. D gave me a blessing and we just talked more. It's amazing what a comfort good friends are at stressful times, and holding a little baby, definitely calmed me down a bit. I'm so grateful for them in my life!

Upon coming home, I was told my classes were cancelled because of the combination of bad weather and the new school president's inauguration. I took advantage of the situation to re-focus, take a nap, and re-listen to General Conference talks. My day has gotten 100% better and I've felt a new level of peace and understanding for my situation that I hadn't felt before. A talk I found very inspiring is one by President Thomas S. Monson called "I Will Not Fail Thee, Nor Forsake Thee" given in the October 2013 Conference. Even though there are still tears, they are tears of gratitude for all I've learned in the past couple days, and for the amazing example and life Sherri has lived up to this point. No matter what happens I will always love her and everything she has taught me in the areas of patience, kindness, selflessness, and more. I will continue to pray for the best outcome, even if it might not be exactly the thing I want. I'm so grateful for the support of friends, family, and the gospel in my life and I wouldn't be the person I am without any of these things. I love you all, and just remember when you are down, THINGS WILL GET BETTER! I know, because they have for me and this has made all the difference. 

P.S. Keep praying for Sherri please, she needs our prayers and our love! And if you would like to donate money to help with medical expenses, any amount helps, here is the website: 
http://www.gofundme.com/rv6u5d8
THANK YOU!

Sherri w/ her son J at my bro's wedding